


I Took A Bullet To The Ass Once

by StarSpangledBucky



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, I Tried, Implied Bottom Steve, Implied Sexual Content, Injury, M/M, Married Couple, Not Compliant With Any Of The Movies, canon divergence I guess, implied top Bucky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 17:55:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5636383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSpangledBucky/pseuds/StarSpangledBucky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's not the worst injury Steve's ever had. But it's an injury he can only trust one person with. That person is Bucky.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Took A Bullet To The Ass Once

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a Tumblr post to pick a number and a pairing. Evanstan and number 24. "You’re the only one I trust to do this.”

Bucky knew something wasn't right when he watched Steve's movements after a rough mission they'd been on with the team. Steve limping and walking with a slight slump in his walk was alarming to Bucky and made him wonder just how hurt Steve was. They'd all sustained pretty brutal injuries, but Bucky had never seen Steve walk so badly before. Not only that, the blonde refused to sit down and would wince sometimes while walking as if getting a sudden jolt of pain.

The brunette wondered why Steve hadn't gone to the medical wing about it, it might be serious, even with his serum and all. Bucky thought he may have had a broken hip with how he was walking, maybe it was fractured, maybe it was his leg, or his back, he just didn't know. Which is why when he managed to get Steve alone he gently yet still forcefully dragged him into a room they'd been sleeping in on the Helicarrier. There was no way Steve was going to get away with having an injury as severe as a broken hip or whatever was wrong with him.

"Steve are you okay?" he asked, closing the door behind them.

"I'm fine," Steve replied, screwing up his face when he turned to face Bucky.

"Don't fuckin' lie to me Steve. You've been limpin' everywhere and I see the pain in your face when you move and you refuse to sit down," he said, resting his hands on his hips. "Stevie, what's wrong darlin'...you know I don't like you in pain," he added.

"It-" Steve paused, shaking his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Have you broken your hip? Please tell me Steve, I'm worried, you need to get it seen to if you have. Baby c'mon," Bucky soothed, stepping forward to rest his hand on Steve's hips. "Where does it hurt?" he questioned, gently smoothing his hands over the blonde's hips, receiving no reaction.

He pressed harder, yet still there was nothing and it was only making Steve squirm until his grip and complain with an exasperated sigh. Bucky dropped his hands and instead brought them up to cup Steve's face, stroking his thumbs over his cheeks.

"What's wrong?" he murmured.

"Bucky. It...it's a little embarrassing," Steve faltered.

"Embarrassing? What the fuck Steve, we've been married for a year, we dated for two years before that and you're talkin' to me like we're just really good friends. But we're lovers. Nothing you say can be embarrassing. Sweetheart...please tell me about your pain so I can maybe help, or someone else can. I don't know, just tell me I'm worried!" Bucky exclaimed, biting on his lip and averting his gaze.

Steve lifted his hands and placed them over Bucky's, curling his fingers around Bucky's to give them a comforting squeeze.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know how to talk about it. But it's not my hips," he stated.

"What is it then? Your leg?" Bucky inquired.

"No," Steve muttered.

"Your back?" the brunette continued.

"Not that either," the blonde sighed.

"Well then what?" Bucky huffed out.

The blonde swallowed thickly, his eyes fixed on Bucky as he searched over his face that still displayed a frown that could intimidate anyone. It's not the worst injury Steve's ever had. But it's an injury he can only trust one person with. That person is Bucky.

"I got shot in the ass..." he mumbled, hanging his head and resting his hands on his hips.

There was a long, drawn out silence that Steve wasn't expecting, because Bucky should have been saying something straight away. But Bucky was only staring, as if trying to process what Steve just said. But then his lips part, his voice is cracking and Steve raises a curious eyebrow.

"You got shot...in the ass," he breathed out.

"Yes," Steve answered, nodding slowly.

Bucky snorted, covering his mouth with his hand, a sharp laugh tumbling out of his mouth. It only escalated until Bucky was hunched over with his hands on his knees, laughing hysterically with a trembling body. Steve's face flushed red at the embarrassment, arms crossed over his chest again as he looked down at the ground. He should have known Bucky would start laughing, although it was slightly comical.

"I-I'm s-sorry Steve I just-" Bucky paused, cackling loudly as he found a chair and sat down, unable to find it in him to stand anymore. "Oh god Steve I thought-" he stopped, slapping his hand against his chest and throwing his head back as more laughter fell out his throat.

He was too far gone but Steve huffed and walked over to him, kicking his boot in annoyance, a displeased look on his face.

"I thought you'd really hurt yourself, like a broken hip, but you got shot in the ass," the brunette choked out.

"Are you finished? 'Cause I'd really like to get this bullet out so I can actually sit down tonight," the blonde grumbled.

"Aw, darlin', 'm sorry, it was just a little funny you have to admit," Bucky crowed.

"Should have known you'd laugh," Steve replied, shaking his head.

"Steve you got shot in the ass! It's a bit of a rare injury in the battlefield and I couldn't help myself," Bucky snickered.

Steve sighed heavily for what felt like the fifth time that evening, drawing his bottom lip in with his teeth as he bit down hard on it. Bucky reached out and took Steve's hand, entwining their fingers and giving it a gentle squeeze, his chin propped up on his metal hand.

"Do you want to go to the medical wing?" he offered, pressing a kiss on Steve's palm.

"No I want you to do it," the blonde mused.

Bucky frowned.

"You want me to take the bullet out? Steve I can't do that I'm not trained in taking bullets out of wounds and fixing it up," he stated.

"Buck," Steve whispered, voice a little rough.

"Steve we need someone with experience," Bucky uttered.

There was an almost pleading look in Steve's eyes as he suffered another wave of pain, teeth clenched and breath hitching when he inhaled sharply.

"You’re the only one I trust to do this," he hissed.

"Did we just step into a sitcom or something?" Bucky joked.

"Bucky please!" Steve begged, pulling Bucky up from the chair. "I don't want anyone else near my ass," he grunted.

Bucky stifled another laugh and bit his lip, covering his face as he let out brief snickers now and again.

"You're not making this any better Stevie," he chuckled.

"Buck," Steve said, dropping his forehead against Bucky's.

"Alright Stevie, alright. Just relax," he soothed, running his hands up and down Steve's arms. "Look, there's a medi-kit in our room here, there's alcohol in my bag, we don't need to go to the medical wing for supplies. Just lie down on the bed for me baby, I'll take care of this," he assured Steve.

The blonde nodded and made his way over to the bed as Bucky searched for the medi-kit and the whiskey in his bag. _Of all the things_ he thought, trying to hold back another wave of laughter. He walked back over to Steve and sat on the edge of the bed, dragging the small square table over to his side. Bucky placed two glasses down, followed by the whiskey and the open medi-kit with plenty of supplies to fix up Steve's wound. The brunette poured a decent amount of whiskey into the glasses, before hanging one to Steve and picking the other up for himself.

"Here's to a successful mission. I know this isn't going to do much but it'll do somethin' I guess," he mused.

Steve smiled and tapped his glass against Bucky's with a _'clink'_ before the pair swallowed the liquid down in one go. Bucky hummed at the burn while Steve dropped his head onto the pillow and groaned because he moved only an inch, sending pain shooting up his back again. His husband trailed his hand down Steve's back, carefully smoothing over his left cheek, leaning down to press a kiss to the blonde's temple.

"You're okay baby," he whispered, taking the glass from Steve's hand and putting it to the side. "Just lift your hips a little for me doll," he ordered.

His husband obliged, lifting his hips with ease as Bucky reached under him to work the button open on his pants and pull the zipper down. Bucky actually couldn't believe he hadn't seen the bullet hole on Steve's suit, then again he never thought to check and see if Steve got shot in the ass. He shook his head with a snort and gently pulled Steve's pants down, manoeuvring his fingers now and again so he didn't touch the wound.

"Christ Steve, you could have told me sooner about this," he gasped, staring at the bullet lodged in Steve's skin on his left ass cheek.

"Is it bad?" Steve asked.

"No sweetheart, I just don't understand how you let yourself be in so much pain for hours. You're such an idiot," Bucky murmured.

"But you still love me," Steve joked.

"I do, I love you, you big idiot," Bucky sighed, pouring himself another whiskey. "Okay, I'm gonna' have to pour some alcohol on this, it'll sting," he warned.

"I'm sure it can't be that ba- _ah!_ Fuck!" Steve yelled, burying his face in the pillow, letting out a pained groan.

"What was that you said about it not being so bad?" Bucky taunted.

"Ugh, I don't like you," Steve whined.

"Grow up, you big baby," the brunette snickered.

"That's just rude," the blonde huffed.

"Love you," Bucky crooned.

"Gross," Steve complained.

"I'll fire another bullet into your ass if you don't quit bein' a punk," Bucky threatened.

"Ouch Barnes, save your kinks for someone who will enjoy them," Steve retorted.

"You're a terrible patient," his husband said.

"And you're a terrible nurse," Steve drawled, wiggly on the bed.

Bucky swatted Steve straight across his right cheek before pinching it and earning an involuntary squawk from the blonde.

"Don't slap my ass and then pinch it! What kind of nurse are you!" he exclaimed.

"I am your nurse husband and I shall do whatever I want with your ass," Bucky purred, rubbing his hand over the light pink handprint on Steve's skin.

"Oh my god- _mm_ -Buck, can you do that while you take the bullet out that feels real nice and comforting," he mumbled, into the pillow.

"Sure darlin'," the brunette soothed, reaching for the medi-kit and flicking the clip open. "Need another drink doll?" he asked.

"No m'good thanks sweetheart," Steve replied.

The pair fell silent as Bucky went about getting all the essentials for helping Steve, his metal hand still massaging Steve's cheek, the coolness working wonders to ease the slight sting. He was too busy looking for a decent gauze, Steve too dazed by Bucky's hand to hear the heavy _thunk_ of metal on the floor and the _whoosh_ of the automatic door.

_"Hey fossils we need you at the meeting room in te-"_

Bucky's head shot up to see Tony standing in the doorway, eyes wide like saucers and his tablet hugged to his chest where he'd obviously almost dropped it. He was still wearing his Iron Man suit which whirred when Tony straightened himself up. The silence in the room drew out for much longer than it needed to, Steve's face flushed a light shade of pink, yet Bucky's remained stern.

"Did I miss the memo?" Tony tested, with a coy smirk.

"Tony, it's not what it looks like," Steve spoke, leaning up on his elbows.

"Whiskey, a medical kit and Barnes' hand on your bare ass Rogers, do I need to know what kinky things you two get up to?" he teased.

Steve groaned, dropping his head in his hand while Bucky grunted in annoyance, turning his attention back to finding a gauze.

"If you really want to know Stark, Steve's got an injury I need to fix. And it ain't in the nicest of places, it ain't in the most common place either," the brunette grumbled, throwing a gauze down on the bed.

Tony's gaze wandered all over the whole situation, his brow furrowing as if it'd all suddenly clicked. He inhaled sharply, mouth moving into a thin line as he nodded slowly.

"Okay, I'll um...hold off the debriefing for an hour or so, make sure you're present," he said.

"No problem, we'll be there," Bucky answered, throwing back another glass of whiskey.

"I'll go and you can...fix your situation. Bye Steve," Tony uttered, swiftly turning and exiting the room, the door sliding shut behind him.

"Do you think he understood what you meant?" Steve muttered, glancing over at Bucky.

His husband shook his head.

"I don't think so," he murmured.

A sudden outburst of laughter from the other side of the door, had Steve thumping his head back down on the pillow in shame. Bucky looked at Steve sympathetically and moved his hand up and down Steve's back, placing a few more essentials on the bed.

"Now we won't hear the end of it," the blonde scoffed, shaking his head against the pillow.

"Next time we'll lock the door," Bucky offered, ripping open the gauze with his teeth.

Steve turned his head to the side, a frown plastered on his face as he swatted Bucky's arm.

"There won't be a next time. Jerk," he ground out.

"I hope not, or the next time after that I really will have to _'cover your ass',_ " Bucky protested.

"You did not just-" he paused, scowling at his husband.

"I did," the brunette confirmed.

"Just get it over with," Steve hissed, feeling another twinge of pain on his left side.

Bucky smirked and rested the gauze on Steve's lower back, shuffling closer on the chair as he examined the area of the wound.

"Alright, baby, there's nothing in the med-kit to pull this bullet out so I have to use my fingers to grab the edge and pull it gently," he explained.

"Even though I can't see anything, this just sounds dirty," his husband answered.

The brunette snorted before reaching for the bottle of whiskey and dabbing a little more on the wound, handing the rest of the contents to Steve.

"Drink up sweetheart, you'll need it," he said.

"It won't help, but I'll drink it anyway," Steve sighed.

There's a pregnant pause, with only the low hum of a heating system in the far corner, Bucky's hand hovering over Steve. He wasn't a doctor but Bucky was fairly sure he could fix up a wound that would most likely heal within the next hour or so.

"You do trust me, right?" he queried, incase Steve had changed his mind.

"Sure honey," Steve hummed.

"Now we sound like an old married couple," he rebuked.

"Well...we are married...and technically we are old," the blonde retorted.

"Punk," Bucky chuckled, grabbing a cleaning wipe from the medi-kit. "Alright, stay still for me Stevie," he added.

He couldn't help but feel a little anxious upon hearing the shaky sigh from Steve before the blonde buried his head into the pillow again, fists clenching the sheets. Bucky carefully grabbed the very edge of the bullet between his thumb, index and middle fingers, his breathing exhaling steadily. With a deep breath, the brunette eased the bullet out, hearing only one complaint from Steve, causing him to stop when the blonde tensed for a moment.

"You're doin' good doll, just relax," he encouraged, picking up the cleaning wipe and rubbing it gently around the wound. "Almost there," he continued, pulling the bullet firmer each time, much to Steve's protests. "Hold on. Just a little...there!" he cheered, throwing the bullet into the bin by the door.

"Oh god that feels better already," Steve groaned, relaxing his entire body on the bed.

"It doesn't look so bad, it'll heal in an hour or two I think," he mused.

"Thanks Buck, love you," Steve said, turning his head to look at Bucky with a soft smile.

"I love you too Stevie. Let me just put the gauze on it and then maybe-" Bucky stopped, as he covered the wound with the gauze, making sure it'd hold, before he dragged Steve's pants back up. "...I can make you feel better," he whispered.

"Oh? How?" his husband challenged.

The brunette grinned wolfishly, while his hands trailed up the curve of Steve's back, his leg swinging over to the other side of Steve. Bucky leant down close to Steve's ear, biting gently on the shell of his ear in time with the slow roll of his hips, hearing the throaty moan from Steve.

"I think you know how," he purred.

Steve could only bite his bottom lip hard and comply.

* * *

The _‘hour or so’_ that Bucky and Steve were promised before the debriefing from Tony, turned into four hours, as if Tony had known the pair would engage in their usual post-mission antics. Steve and Bucky were somewhat grateful for it, considering that four hours gave them enough time to become absolutely spent. Though last hour was used for the pair to shower and dress comfortably to get rid of their grimy uniforms and make themselves presentable. Somehow, debriefings still required a focused team instead of looking like they’d just been to war.

“I still can’t over the fact that Tony walked in on us,” Steve huffed, closing their room door behind him.

“Relax Stevie, he’s not gonna’ tell anyone,” Bucky crowed, carding his fingers through his hair.

Steve turned to steal a glance at Bucky, giving him a _‘you’ve got to be kidding me’_ look.

“You do realise we’re talking about Tony Stark here,” he commented.

Bucky shrugged.

“It’ll be fine, everyone has rare injuries darlin’,” he replied.

“Name one person who has had one similar to mine,” Steve said, crossing his arms over his chest.

The pause Steve received in return was enough to make him roll his eyes and start walking towards the meeting room, Bucky jogging close behind.

“Steve, c’mon, baby I’m sorry,” he sighed, wrapping his arm around the blonde’s waist. “It’ll be forgotten about in a few days,” he continued. “It’s not that big a deal, so you became Captain _‘Got Shot In The Ass’_ America for a day, it happens,” he added, with a sly smile.

“You just-” his husband paused, the frown growing prominent on his face before he moved away from Bucky. “...that’s not even funny,” he grunted.

“Aw, I thought it was a good one!” the brunette protested.

“Not funny,” Steve confirmed, again.

“Steve,” Bucky whined, drawing out the ‘E’.

He was only ignored by Steve, which drew an exasperated sigh out of Bucky before he walked ahead of Steve. The brunette grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him back until they disappeared behind a wall in the hallway. Bucky’s lips pressed firmly against Steve’s, startling his husband until he felt Steve’s hands grip his hips. _Nailed it_ he thought, parting from the kiss.

“I’m sorry okay, but I had to make light of the situation and you know I find things amusing very easily,” he reasoned.

Steve exhaled breathlessly his eyes locked with Bucky’s as he rubbed small circles on Bucky’s hips.

“You always find a way to get away with things don’t you?” he tested.

“Would you have me any other way?” Bucky hummed.

“Absolutely not,” Steve mumbled, cupping Bucky’s face in his hands.

Bucky smiled widely, letting his eyes fall closed as Steve met him for a much softer kiss, lips parting and moving in sync with one another’s. The brunette’s breath hitched when Steve brushed his thumb over the small area behind his ear, his mouth twitching upwards at the corner.

“We’ll be late,” Bucky breathed out, pushing Steve away gently.

“And here I thought we were gonna’ go another round right here,” the blonde muttered, hiding a grin by ducking his head.

“Not a chance,” his husband scoffed, slapping him lightly on the chest.

They walked out from behind the wall, pretending as if nothing happened even as three S.H.I.E.L.D agents were walking in the opposite direction. Steve gave them all a curt nod as they stared in confusion, a smirk spreading across Bucky’s face as he reached for Steve’s hand. The pair stifled their laughs and stepped into the elevator, Steve leaning against the far wall while Bucky put all his weight against Steve and rested his head on the blonde’s shoulder. Steve ran his fingers through Bucky’s hair, catching the glint of his wedding ring now and again, his mouth curving up at the corners.

“Thanks for helping me out earlier, even though you weren’t so sure,” he whispered.

Bucky grinned and rested his hand on Steve’s chest, pulling back to look at Steve.

“Would do anythin’ for you, doll,” he replied.

“I know, sweetheart,” Steve chimed, planting a kiss on Bucky’s forehead.

When the elevator stopped at the floor for the meeting room, Bucky and Steve were met with silence and several pairs of eyes on them. Steve let go of Bucky’s hand and walked ahead while the brunette peered over at Tony who had an unreadable look on his face.

“Well it’s about damn time,” Fury spoke, bringing everyone’s attention back to him.

“Sorry Director,” Steve apologised, sitting down beside Natasha.

Bucky sauntered over to the chair between Steve and Tony, sitting down slowly as he kept his gaze fixed on Tony. The older man raised an eyebrow but Bucky only furrowed his brow to warn Tony that he better not have said anything about Steve. Tony averted his gaze in that moment with a fearful look in his eyes.

“Alright, now that we have everybody here, we can start the debriefing. First on the agenda, injury report,” Fury stated.

Except for Steve and Bucky, everybody else around the table began snickering, with some of them dropping their heads into their hands. Bucky whipped his head around to glare at Tony, his metal hand clenching into a fist while Steve yet again hung his head in shame. Tony whispered a heartfelt _‘sorry’_ to Bucky who couldn’t help but crack a smile, before biting on his lip, knowing Steve was really going to dislike him for laughing again.

“What’s so damn funny?” Fury questioned, resting his hands on his hips.

“Steve needs to report an injury, Director Fury,” Tony choked out, before bursting into laughter.

“So you all know!” Steve exclaimed.

“Sure we do, Captain Ass-merica,” Clint snickered.

“And here I thought we could bounce a coin off that ass,” Natasha mused, leaning back in her chair with a smug grin.

Thor looked perplexed, but still laughed nonetheless, Bruce hid his laughter while Sam apologised profusely to Steve, even if he couldn’t utter a word from laughing too hard. Fury looked as if he was about to explode with rage until Steve straightened up in his chair and clasped his hands together.

“The team is laughing because I got shot in the ass during the mission,” he murmured.

He expected Fury to roll his eyes or try and settle the team down, yet they were all startled when he started to laugh himself.

“I’ll have Hill put that in the reports immediately,” he said, between laughs.

Steve was embarrassed until he felt the soft touch of Bucky’s hand on leg, giving it a gentle squeeze before he leaned in.

“It’s alright Stevie, I’ll make you feel good again later, promise,” he drawled, making his voice low and rough.

_Maybe it wasn’t that bad afterall._

**Author's Note:**

> Can find me on tumblr: [x-crossbones-x](http://x-crossbones-x.tumblr.com/)


End file.
